So me and the boys were sittin around the campfire when crazy ass Abram comes runnin up. "So guys listen up I just talked to god," he says. So I says "So what? Youz always talkin to god." Then he says "So shut up, this time its's important." He says "So like I said I was talkin to god and I said 'Hey god, why come I got no children?' and god says 'Is it by your will that the eagle soars on high? So shut up, I'm tryin to help you here,' so I says 'what..' and He says 'So shut up,' again 'I'm gonna cut you a deal here: so you're pissed you got no kids, so what, you see those starts in the sky. The ones I made for your dumb ass to look at? That's how many kids you're gonna have.'" Then I say "Thanks goddy, thats pretty swell of you!" and He says "Yeah yeah yeah, it ain't free. So here's what you're gonna do for me."
So no shit, here I am, standin in the middle of the freekin destert, with a one hundred year old man breathing down the back of my shirt, with a six inch knife sittin on my schlong. But you know me, I can't complain.
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